I feel very self conscious posting this and may delete later.. I’ve just struggled so much and I’m finally ready for help but can’t afford it.

If you can give I’d be grateful, whether that just be supportive words or a donation. ❤





Iridescent strands

Woven by dancing fingers

sealed together by crystal tears


She breathes in moondust

letting winter take hold

making everything porcelain


Her creation shimmers

and shudders

as if it were to blow away

yet she continues.


As she finishes

her lungs expel the last

of the warmth

from frosty lungs


and falls to endless slumber,

safe within her cocoon.


Whispers carry the dreams

that were developed

in locked bathroom stalls

in tangled locks of shedding hair

in the food buried deep in trash cans

and in kisses sent across thousands of miles

that never reached the deadened insides

of another caged girl.


The girl who gleams with the tears of others

and who shimmers dully of repressed desires.


Untethered from her post

the girl glides free from the weight of secrets

that dissipate as she disappears

leaving only still remains

of forgotten girls,

pierced by their own bones.


Extolled upon ravenous breath

as yearning tugs upon crusty corners

and fingers pick at soft center.

Eyes swept by a frosty chill

now berated from a scolding sun

“The child left for too long.”

As mouth alight the senses burn

emotions stifled beneath control

finally grasp at a breath long held.

Disintegration making parts most prized

to fall

and the dormant hunger wakes with rage.

Chewing in pleasure

fasting with ecstasy

sedating a monster

born from repression.


The absence was profound,

tapping on the consciousness

and reminding it that something had fled.


The mind craved to fill the emptiness

reaching to unnatural sustenance

to complete itself.


The body grew in different ways

stretching to birth a new gap.


The absence brought a hunger


and unwound by insanity.


Time clicked on,

marked by the waves

of consciousness.


As she grew

the numbers did too.


But the absence only flourished,

fed by the impenetrable sadness.


The stars painted their skins

dipping fingers of silver tears

onto their bodies.


They worked with the surface,

painting the inside on the out,

till each one was drenched with wonder

at the transformation.


Hair plastered from fake rain

they stared at the mirrors

until they dissolved into transparency,

locked forever behind the glass

they once adored.

White Nightdress

Hanging from the floor

with nowhere to go.

White nightdress limp

on broken frame.


Memories singing sweet nightmares

of reality.


Images of white rooms

with white walls

and white doctors

flood the white mind.


They took her in,

the girl –

the rag doll.


They filled her with pills

till giddy delight

was forced upon

an exhausted body.



she remembers.



She was the blackboard

and now she is the chalk.

Under the Moon

We swam in the night.

Our fingers grasped the wisps of fog,

our bodies twisted to the moon’s humming tune.

We washed our hands in pools of charcoal

and etched ink drawings into each others

translucent skin.

Rainbows trapped in dark droplets,

reflecting unseen light,

dripped through our raven black hair

and kissed the surface of the lake.

The ripples trembled with our movements

as we gave into the bone chilling


My Queen

Normalcy glinted between the flames

as red and orange tongues licked

tasting the sweet innocence.


I tried to reach across the eons

To quell my raging fears

To ignore my crying body

with tears rolling down my back

dripping in my eyes with a sting

and touching my tongue with a

burst of salt.


I tried to be like Normalcy,

with gleaming skin

and gleaming teeth

and gleaming eyes.

Radiating every usual thought

each truthful smile

and casual messiness.


I felt the transformation.

It swept away the burning heat,

and similar to a cool cloth

it rested upon my brow

soaking up the inky imperfection

with acceptance.


But then I felt her call.

A keening like a  mother

mourning a dead child.

My eardrums peeled,

my skin’s flaws became magnified,

and every diseased though rushed back:

the hate, the fear, the guilt.


Normalcy reached a hand through the burning flames,

but beside now stood a Queen.

With hair of flame,

eyes of red

and breath of smoke,

she stood –


My Queen.


Normalcy leaned closer

but my Queens breath reached me first.

Normalcy’s face was plain

and my Queens was so radiant.


I looked down and saw the bones

through the steamy

Queen’s breath.


I stepped away from Normalcy

and into the Queen’s cloak

of fiery inferno.